I’M OVER THE MACCABEES, A Hanukkah Prayer

Baruch Atah Adonai,
Brucha At Shechina,
Ruach HaOlam:
I’m over the Maccabees.
I’m done with fanatics.
I’m done with extremists who demand purity.
I’m done with fundamentalists who shut women up.
I’m done with religions that kill.
I’m over the Seleucids.
I’m done with invaders.
I’m done with outsiders telling anyone how to live in their own country.
I’m done with people telling me how to worship my God.
I’m done with liars and rapists and powerful men.
I’m over the Hellenists.
I’m done with accomodation.
I’m done with rich suck-ups.
I’m done with living in comfy bubbles.
I’m done with pretending we’re one of them.
I’m over Hanukkah.
         I’m done with Hanukkah bushes.
         I’m done with eight days of socks.
         I’m done with parties at the White House. 
         I’m done with cheap chocolate gelt.
I’m okay with light in the darkness. 
And potato latkes.
Oh, and donuts.
Let’s start there.
Amen








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5 comments
  1. Anonymous
    Anonymous
    December 11, 2017 at 9:15 pm

    I RARELY IF EVER have commented like this, but, having read what this women wrote as a "prayer" using the name of Ha Shem, I don't see any humor or point to it! Where does a Student of the Rabbinate get off denouncing Chanukah as "faux Xmas and 8 days of socks". This woman is a disgrace to Judaism and should never been granted the respected title of Rabbi until and unless she learns to repect KOL YISROEL! (and BTW anyone who knows me will tell you I am not a fanatic, zealot, or even frum!)

    Reply
  2. David Hartley Mark
    David Hartley Mark
    December 19, 2017 at 1:19 am

    Well done! As for the blowhard preceding, “Honor the fool’s reproach! It is a queenly title.”

    Reply
  3. Matthew Ari Lowe
    Matthew Ari Lowe
    December 2, 2018 at 2:24 pm

    Not to nitpick (OK I'm nitpicking) but the term (I thought?) is "K'lal" Yisroel. And, if not mistaken, someone who calls for respecting Klal Yisroel would also thus need to find a way to show respect to the writer and this liturgy?

    Reply
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