Heal Me

The One Who Blessed Our Ancestors, Ruach HaOlam, Breath of the Universe, 
heal me…
I need a Healing Prayer.
But I can’t do it.
I don’t have the soothing words.
I’m in pain
Right now
And it’s been going on for a while
And it looks like it’s going to last longer than it takes to say any prayer.
So instead
I offer to you
A Pain Prayer:
A friend died suddenly
And I miss her.
I lost my job
And my despair is showing.
I don’t have a partner
And I’m lonely
I’m losing my home
And I will never be comfortable again
My body hurts
And I’m becoming my pain.
Did I name any of your sorrows?
Do you want to name them now?
What was solid is porous,
What was secure is scary,
And everyone wants to hurry me through my grief.
It will be so much better, they say, when this is over:
You will be transformed!
Yes, I say, but into what?
Yes, I say, but I’m not there now!
Yes, I say, but please, let me mourn first.
“Refa’aynu Adonai V’Nayrafay
Heal us God, and we shall be healed.”
Can this be true?
“Elohai neshama sh’natata’bi,
The soul placed within me is pure and cannot be lost.”
o where is that pure soul?
Where is that healing of the body, mind and spirit?
Is it in the music?
Is it in my friends?
Is it in prayer?
So I listen to the music
And I am transported away from the hurt.
I look around at my community
And I am taken care of.
I recite this prayer
And I speak to God.
I guess this is a healing prayer after all.
Baruch Atah Adonai, The One Who Blessed Our Ancestors, Ruach HaOlam, Breath of the Universe,
Healer, Healing, Healed.

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